The Forest Christian

Mamma Mia

2008-07-21T08:22:00.003-04:00

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Last night was a wonderful experience of joy! I went on a date with my wife for the first time in a very long time. We went to the Broad Ripple Brew Pub and to see Mamma Mia the movie. I had always seen the previews for the musical when it was on Broadway and a traveling show. It always intrigued me, but I never had the opportunity to go see it. Now it is on the big screen with characters such as Meryl Streep and Pierce Bronson. I have always enjoyed musicals and this one was no exception. It was a tremendous film and a celebration of life and love.

I suppose the biggest reflection I had upon watching the movie was the absolute power of music to move the soul. It is a metaphor for all who long to be free. There is a scene where the AbbA song "Dancing Queen" is playing and they are all running, dancing, singing through the village. They show scenes of village people and slaves and merchants and helpers on the island whose lives seem dim and down. They see the crowd of people dancing and singing and all of a sudden they drop whatever it is they are doing and run singing and dancing also. It was young and old dancing together in the streets and the barriers of age and appearance seemed to disappear. I couldn't help but think that there is something in all of us that longs to drop whatever it is we are doing and just dance and sing without abandon or worry of what others will think. Praise God for such freedom and while I have yet to muster up the courage to run through the streets shouting and singing Dancing Queen, I am so glad Meryl was able to remind us of the freedom of the human spirit!

Where have I been?

2008-07-06T11:32:00.002-04:00

You might be wondering where I have been. I thinking I am asking myself that same question. I have been listening for my path on this earth. I feel like the Israelites at the base of the Red Sea after leaving Egypt. I am at the end of one journey and beginning another. I have made it into the wilderness and now I am scared, hungry, thirsty, and lost. Yet, I would like to think that I might not grumble with God as much as Israel did and live my way in hope of this new path.....but, there is no guarantee of less grumbling....just my full self, just an authentic self and journey with my Creator.

I have spent the last ten years pastoring churches, studying and writing about theology, and trying to live out what I think I believe. I have stopped pastoring for so many reasons, perhaps too many to blog about and yet many that have not been revealed to me. This is my first Sunday in 10 years that I have not had obligations of leading worship or preaching (minus vacations of course). I promised myself that I would take two weeks or more if necessary to just relax and recover before jumping out into any church for worship. As I write on this day, I sit watching my two year old play as I read Annie Dillard's "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek." I think perhaps this book is fitting for my journey, as I am in search of the path God desires for me. I have many wishes and dreams, but none that will pay off my student loans, mortgage, and a car payment. But, they are still my dreams and I will do all I can to find my way into those things and pray God's guidance on the path.

So, where have I been? I have been preaching. I have been wrestling with vocation. I have been arguing with the criminal justice system who would not let me see a friend. I have been writing. I have been moving into a new home and neighborhood. I have been reconnecting with old and life long friends. The truth is, I think where I have been is not nearly as important as where I am going. So, where am I going? Not sure. There are no maps for the road unknown and God never disclosed to Abraham or Moses where their path would lead. So, here is one foot in front of the other, eyes wide open, and ears ready to hear the words, "Welcome Home." One day soon.

Talk Less, Listen More...

2008-02-07T10:17:00.000-05:00

Last night was the beginning of Lent as we kicked it all off with our Ash Wednesday service. One of the key points of my sermon was that we partake of lenten disciplines not out of guilt, or shame, or because it is a "rule," or because God wants us to feel bad about ourselves. Discipline is a form of freedom to be whom God has called us to be and it allows us to examine ourselves in ways we may not have otherwise. Here is my discipline for the lenten season, actually it is two disciplines.

Talk Less, Listen More.

The more I live the more I begin to realize that by talking so much and providing what I think are "answers" to situations are often the cause of problems. Perhaps if I were silent more and took time to reflect, meditate, and pray over things in life I might have a better sense of what is required of me in a situation. In the book of Job there is a passage where Job tells his accusers that if they "would just be silent, that would be there wisdom." I have always appreciated this line because it was clear that Job's friends never took the time to be humble and silent, but rather talked and talked and talked solutions until Job finally told them to shut the hell up. Who can blame him? Well, I am going to take Job's advice and do one thing less and one thing more so that my relationships and life are more healthy.

Talk Less, Listen More

Sightings

2008-01-29T12:34:00.000-05:00

This past week I was on vacation in Illinois staying with my parents. They have a small ranch house in bloomington. While there I made a trip to Borders and discovered this book "Sightings" by Sam Keen. This book takes a spiritual glance at birds and birdwatching. Keen tells marvelous stories of bird watching as a kid and finding the Sacred in the midst of what seems like a very mundane activity. His description of the Indigo Bunting was fabulous and seeing it in a book allowed me to see the awe that comes with sighting a bird so beautiful. I was reminded by Keen how much I love nature and birds. It also reminded me of my all time favorite college course, the required science lab I decided to take, "Winter Birds of Illinois (I got an A by the way)". We used to bird watch growing up all the time. I was reminded how much my grandfather loves to put out feeders for birds every year and how that was connected to his childhood home in Kentucky where birds flocked to my great grandmother's home. I also have to laugh because my grandfather thinks that squirrels are such pests that he designs his own squirrel traps. He has proudly caught 35 or so in the last several months. When they are caught in his trap, he hops in his Buick Century and drives them across town and drops them off somewhere. Not sure how sound this approach is, but it was a reminder to me of humanity's differing ways of dealing with so-called "pests," we usually like to remove them quickly without ever dealing with the real issue at hand. Truthfully, I like bird-watching because birds demonstrate a metaphor for how I wish I could live....unfettered and free. It is as if when I watch the birds I am seeing God dance with nature. So, thanks to Sam Keen, my winter birds of illinois class, my mother, my grandfather, my great-grandmother, and God for reminding me that sighting a bird is a sighting of the divine.

Out of the Mouths....Part Deux

2008-01-03T18:10:00.001-05:00

Okay, so, not everything that comes out of Isa's mouth is desired. I just wrote a blog not that long ago about how cute she was sharing her love for animals, for her parents, and thanking different objects for their existence. Well, the other shoe drops occasionally.

This Sunday I was preaching a sermon on the concept of love. I was speaking about the glowing experience of love I felt when I first saw Isabel or when she tells everyone at the dinner table that she loves us. As soon as I got done saying this we hear out of nowhere, "You stink, daddy!" It was Isa shouting in the middle of church that I stink!!! How about that. I wasn't angry, just more embarassed. Shannon was over there trying to get her to say "I love you, daddy!" to compliment my sermon, but instead we heard "You stink, daddy!" Kids will say just about anything to get a rise out of us adults. I was reminded of the one time Shannon and I were at Broadway UMC here in Indianapolis and there were two kids sitting behind us who were squabbling with each other in the middle of a communal prayer. At the end of the prayer when it got silent you heard loudly, "ewh....your breath smells like glue." We lost it and could not stop laughing. Well, now it is my own daughter whose funny ways could not make us stop laughing. Certainly, out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom and compassion and truth, but perhaps in times when we need it most, comedy. Thanks, Isa, for letting the world know I stink.

Out of the Mouths of Babes....

2008-01-03T18:10:00.000-05:00

I ate lunch today with my daughter, Isabel. We were both eating leftovers. I told her it was time to go eat and she ran all excited to her chair like a squirrel does to a bird feeder. When she arrived at the chair she shouted, “Oh, thank you, chair!” Now, you have to imagine a toddler saying this with the elongated “O’s.” Both the words “Oh” and “you” were dragged out a little more than usual. It was absolutely hilarious. It got me to thinking about all the things she says “thank you” to each day or even “hi” to as she passes. Just yesterday I heard her say, “Oh, thank you, tree” and “Oh, thank you, bird.” We just bought some new indoor tropical plants that she calls trees. We also have been doing a lot of bird watching in the front of our house. So, to say “thank you” to these elements of our home environment was to suggest Isabel’s clear awareness of her surroundings.

As Isabel thanked her chair this morning, I was intrigued at the theological implications of such a proclamation. Could it be that we pass by each encounter of our day without even acknowledging the true gift of its presence in our world? Do we truly pass by trees, birds, roads, fields of corn, water, plants, chairs, dare I say human beings, without a sense of thankfulness? Buddhist monk, Thich Naht Hahn, often speaks of the world in terms of “inter-being.” That is, the being of all things is interconnected so much that human actions and the natural order are directly impacted by the results of our interaction or lack thereof. Perhaps my little toddler was trying to simply point out the “inter-being” of chair, tree, bird, daddy, mommy, God, and all of creation. Perhaps every time I turn on a faucet of water, there could be a prayer of thankfulness for our water. Or, every time I take a bite of food, I am thankful and aware of the origins of my food. It could even enter our human relationships to the point that when we are particularly angry with another, we might begin to see ourselves in that person and give thanks for their beautiful existence.

It is often out of the mouths of our little ones that we hear clearly the messages we daily miss because we are so distracted from our present reality. A child sees the simple usefulness of a chair, or the beauty of a tree, and the dazzling dance of the birds. I miss seeing these things so clearly. So, today, I have something to say back to my little girl: “Oh, Thank You, Isabel!” and “Oh, Thank you, God, for my little darling Isabel!”

New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-01T11:25:00.000-05:00

I have rarely participated in the yearly ritual of making New Year's resolutions. I suppose one could call me a cynic when it comes to these rituals. My logic simply followed the idea that if we were unable to follow through on the things important to us on a regular basis, then why choose one particular day to try and make that right? Why not just do it?

Well, I am a cynic no longer.....at least when it comes to New Year's resolutions. I have found myself in a circumstance of being unable to control my consumption of food and beverages, nor being committed to exercise of any kind. I am probably the most unhealthy I have been in my entire life. I have always been active, always been relatively skinny, and never had a problem with my health. Well, I had a concern arise this past week. I took a parishioner to, of all places, WalMart to fill his wife's prescriptions because they will fill it for $4 there. While we were waiting in the pharmacy area, I decided to take one of those free blood pressure tests. I hadn't taken my blood pressure in a long time. After my fingers came back to life from being numb and the numbers flashed out on the screen it read 145 over 84. I was horrified. What is worse, one of the pharmacist caught a glimpse afterwards and said, "Whoever's blood pressure that is, man, that is high." Okay, so it could have actually been worse, but she was right, it was high. According to the screen, these numbers suggest stages of full on hypertension and prehypertension. My family has a history of high blood pressure and heart disease, and needless to say this was an alarming wake up call to me.

In our worship service on Sunday we had a covenant renewal service. I spoke of our need to be healthy and connect ourselves and renew ourselves with all of creation. In the middle of my sermon, I took a Diet Dr. Pepper that I bought and placed it in the middle of the sanctuary high up, as if on an altar....an idol of sorts. I spoke of my addiction to Dr. Pepper, my inability to lose its hold on me, and my unhealthy lifestyle of inactivity and lethargy. I threw my Dr. Pepper in a trash can and laid it on the altar as I renewed my covenant with God and my congregation....even with myself to commit to loving myself and my body. So, my New Year's resolution for 2008 is to find a way to eat healthy, exercise weekly, read more, write more, and to make my life overall more whole. For those of you who are my close friends and family, please hold me to this standard and remind me to love myself and my body, for it is God's gift. Happy New Year!

New Wave of Writing

2007-12-30T13:25:00.001-05:00

Today I decided to scrap the rest of my personal blogs and combine into one that explores much more of my deepest curiosities. My good friend, Mike Mather, gave me this book "Conversations with Wendell Berry." It has been spectacular to read. Berry's main conversations tend to focus on place and love and creation. He is a farmer and author who often tries to connect the life of agriculture with faith, ecology and economy with the ways of Jesus' kingdom. His remarkable writing has brought much into my mind about place and vocation in my own life. I thought I would write daily, or as much as I can, on the matters of ecology, community, farming life and urban life, faith, and the way of love.

Place has always been a bit of a curious notion to me. I was one of those kids who couldn't wait to get the hell out of small town rural america. My upbringing in rural illinois certainly represented to me by the end of high school a sense of backward thinking, irrelevant, small minded, and hick country folk who would rather suck on a toothpick and talk about the weather, than to do something worthwhile in this life. There must be something more exciting out there for me, or so I arrogantly thought at the time. Arrogance may even be a bit too small of a word for my sharp criticisms of the rural life. Now that I have lived in the most urban and industrial state in the union, been to an ivy league institution, lived on a road with fire engines driving by constantly, and with very little trees or land to speak of, I began to see that there was something disturbingly missing.

On both sides of my family, we own significant amounts of land, both some that is still currently used in farming and the rest an inheritence from generations passed on by. When I think of my dad's family farm in Illinois or my mother's family acreage in southern Appalachian Kentucky, I am amazed that I somehow thought that there was something better "out there" than what God had already given me. I have stories and memories hidden deep within the forests and trees of southern kentucky, on tractors and fields in the flat lands of Illinois, and a sense of hope, peace, and what life is really about when I think about the food grown on these lands. Why didn't I see this beauty before? Thinking about how my grandparents and great grandparents gave themselves for decades to farming land in Illinois is a little more than simply remarkable. They are saints in my book. They have given themselves to a place and to a way of life, one intimate with the earth and her rhythms. Oh, how I long for such a life. Is it possible to find such a life in the urban landscape? I believe so and since that has been where my immediate family and I have chosen to live our lives, I begin this blog with simple reflections upon committing to a city landscape over long periods of time, the possibilities available now that I am a home owner, and how my living in these spaces impacts local economy.

I am not sure of the answer to these questions. I am hoping to bump into some answers as I look along the way. I invite you to travel with me, agree with me....disagree with me, make suggestions, ask questions, and find hope in your own "place." For now, I begin this new wave of writing as one of the "forest christians" seeking wholeness, peace, and joy not only in the church and her people, but among all creation.